The Blue Tree in Lyons

the Yellow Box rattles in the wind 

dead branches entwined with sky

trunk brushed in blue 

at the turnoff drivers ask

why’s that tree  

got a blue coat?

passengers wonder

strollers and joggers pause

   ask why is blue so sad 

         a silence

           inside  

when it’s also sky and sea

why is it too hard to say

something’s really wrong?

socks paired face washed hair brushed 

we make ourselves look better than we are

so no one sees our shuddering shame

my thoughts are worried leaves

             in a storm 

my mind is bark eaten away

my job is too much I think I’m done

how will I make money to pay my rent

let alone my debt

my family was stolen and my land

my body doesn’t feel like me

thrashing limbs I can’t stop 

so scared I’ll be ripped away

I’m different to anyone I’ve ever met

they left me

I was hurt too much

where can I live

where can I be safe?

my love is not accepted

I asked for help but it’s too much

this pain has done me in

lopped branch after branch

the world has raced ahead of me

            I’m lonely

people will think 

why is that tree in Lyons blue?

ask have you seen that big blue tree?

people on the drive to work

to the shops to visit 

kids walking home from school

don’t know what to say

might make it worse?

ask why is that tree blue?

it’s a start to find a way to say

there’s something really wrong

this feeling it’s not leaving

or I am worried about our friend 

so why is that tree blue?

in the listening and speaking

here in Country

in Lyons right near Woden 

in the valley near the creek 

we might find a way to hear

to say

            yes I’ll  listen 

            we can try to talk 

            I’ll sit with you

            I’ll come    

Sarah St Vincent Welch © 2023

Last Monday I packed my blue plastic poncho and headed off to help paint a huge dead tree in Lyons a sky blue, and to read a poem I have been working on for over six months. The poem is about how the blue tree might affect our community. The Blue Tree Project began in Western Australia and was started by Kendall Whyte, whose brother, Jayden, took his own life. Please read the story of the project. It is gentle, organic, and has helped people find another place to put their grief and distress, and to communicate about it. As of today the blue tree count in Australia and around the world is 927.

In 2021 I travelled with my husband, Dylan, around most of Australia, 25,000 kms, to talk to people to try to understand my country more, and to reflect on suicide, mental health and illness, and the desperation that leads people to make this decision. I continue to reflect on the stigma I have keenly felt around discussions of suicide, mental illness, and crises of distress all my life. It comes from trying to understand the silence around my father’s death and the circumstances around it that involved me as a child. Attitudes have changed; but not enough. I tried to turn away from it, but I recognised I just couldn’t anymore.

The first blue tree we saw was on the Mitchell Highway near Barcaldine. And yes we had a discussion about mental health when we found out just why that tree was blue. I, of course, wanted to speak to Kendall, but I missed her in Perth, so we chatted via zoom, me in the car parked on the main street of Coolgardie (we were on the way to Kalgoorlie) and again I experienced the kindness and generosity of people like Kendall in the community working in suicide prevention.

This is way too complex a subject to completely address here in this post. I am still on this journey to understand more and to find ways to contribute. And I am still talking to people and writing. But I wanted to share this poem now.

Samantha Ning from TCCS Directorate was a driving force behind the blue tree being painted in Lyons, working with ACT Health, and Kendall Whyte. It has been years in the organising; El Nino and a pandemic intervening. Kendall Whyte spoke at the painting ceremony, and I at last met her in person and we hugged. I was honoured to meet Aunty Lydia George. And I was blessed to meet all the gentle people from the community and from government in the Australian Capital Territory who have worked together to get a very big tree painted blue on Hindmarsh Drive where so many people can wonder over it, and maybe start a difficult conversation. It has to be better than silence. And to my astonishment I read, at the invitation of Gabrielle Mulcahy, my poem to Minister Emma Davidson, on the following Thursday when she got up in the ‘The Tower,’ a crane or bucket lift, to paint the upper branches, followed by the TCCS Tree Protection team who finished off the job by spraying those top limbs and twigs.

If you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to and this post makes you want to connect with a capable listener you can ring Standby or Canberra Lifeline and I will respond here as well.